Reviews & Letters 2009

Psychology Majors at Siena College with Dr. Cameron class in Psychology of Women

Student # 7
Psychology of Women
2009

Not many people can argue that life is always fair. Although everyone has their own battles to face, some people seem to be dealt more trying cards than other. In “Dance Beyond The Shadows”, it is apparent that Rose Richards faced more than her fair share of traumatizing events. Between being sexually abused by her father, witnessing intense mental illness of her mother, moving from home to home, and being physically abused by her first husband, Rose has been through more upsetting experiences than any woman or person should have to endure in one lifetime.

In class we learned about how incest between father and daughter has dramatic affects on the child, as it breaks the trust that is supposed to be between the father and child. This can cause a lot of confusion. This is evident in Rose’s story, as she writes about her father with a certain tenderness and pain at the same time. It is obvious that she loves him, which is why the betrayl was so traumatizing. Rose’s feelings toward her father are portrayed on page 18 when she say, “Amy’s heart ached for years when she though of him. He was her earth Father and even with buried memories of his dragon part, she had loved him. She had hated him.” This closeness between father and daughter kept rose quiet, not revealing the events of her molestation for years. This led to her longing to be close to a man and be able to trust him. This also resulted in post traumatic stress disorder.

The longing to find a man to have a symbiotic relationship with, someone to love while she depends o him and he depends on her, led her to unhealthy relationships. Her desire was so strong, she ended up with men that would tare her down rather than life her up. This is particularly true with her first husband. Although he did need her, he needed to control her so he coul control and dominate someone. She wanted to make him better, which led her to stay with him rather than removing herself from the abuse of the relationship.

The thing that touched me the most about Rose’s story was her constant optimism and appreciation of the beautiful things in life. Despite the harmful experiences Rose endured, she still tried to see the good in everything; the world she lived in, the people she met, and the experiences she faced. Rose’s empathy and understanding gave her the power to find light in a world that any outsider would see as overwhelmingly dark. Thee are people who face fewer and less severe hardships in their lifeto,e. wjp sto;; dpm’t possess the same sannquine outlook on life. On pages 194 and 195 Rose writes, “I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed. I am blessed with the hurt that formed me…for every person who has been unkind, I thank them for they have moved me forward into the challenges of growth.” This is exactly the attitude that has touched me most from reading Rose’s story. Although many people hurt her and brought her down, they were ablee to teach her to let the good lift her up even higher. Because of this, Rose has been able to lift others, even people she has never met, higher through writing this book and sharing her soul with us.
 

Student # 8
Response paper
Dec. 17, 2009

“Dance Beyond The Shadows” by Rosemary Richards is a heart wrenching memoir that reiterates the life struggles by the author herself. The book unfolds throughout her life as a child, and reveals a past of childhood abuse, mental disorders and hard times, at the hands of her own father.

Rosemary highlights the emotional, physical and mental abuse that she suffers from as a child, while showing us the very concept of one losing their innocence. It allows us to see how quickly one’s life can transform and how those that we trust with our lives, and rely on the most to give us the guidelines of which to live a good and moral life, can sometimes be the one’s to disappoint us or hurt us the very most.

After I completed the novel, I gave it to a few of my family members to read, while most were as I was, inspired and moved by her emotional story as well as her openness to share it with the rest of the world, my grandmother could not quite understand why she would expose such a story, years later. This not only perplexed me, but it lead me to some different thoughts as well. How is this different than say a war veteran writing their story upon all of the disasters they encountered in Vietnam? Highlighting the tragic losses of life, the cruelties of war, the terrible acts they were forced to commit: it can also be a release, a sigh of relief or perhaps a chance to finally let go. This is how I saw Rosemary Richard’s novel, as a release, as a type of therapy in the form of writing, a way to get over the past and perhaps help other women who have suffered or who are currently suffering in the same situations. Rosemary Richards’ story is truly inspiring and I feel lucky to have been able to learn the life of such a strong and successful woman.

Student # 9
2009 Review

“Dance Beyond the Shadows” contains many instances of verbal and physical violence against women... the “Vulture Man, as he is referred to, tortures Amy and her family. Amy cites instances when he would throw her across the room, hit her, and choke her. He would rip the phone from the wall, and become angered when someone left toothpaste in the sink. Amy says that this never ending domestic abuse was overlooked by all. She say that “it took years before the laws, the police, the communities would take domestic violence as a crime… it was accepted, expected, stamped with the established norms of society.” Many times, Amy did not witness the violence herself but she knew what was going on with the children. She knew when he hit her five year old and gave him a black eye, when he threw Heaven and found out he sneaked into Samantha’s room at night when Amy was working. (Amy did not find out about Samantha until this daughter was in her thirties.) However, like so many other battered women she did not say a thing to anyone. The problem that Amy and so many other battered women face is that she was scared of leaving him, for fear of her and her families’ lives. Amy knew that he was very much capable of such an act.

I thought that “Dance Beyond the Shadows” was a very powerful, important book that needs to be read. The story contained in this book, while very graphic in detail, I believe is necessary for the reader to gain the full appreciation of what occurred. This book can be used as a much needed coping method for women who have gone through sexual and domestic abuse and know that such atrocities have in fact happened to other women. Perhaps after reading this powerful book, they will be given the strength to come forward against their partner and leave for good. The message that I thought to be the most important and that Amy, or Rose, was able to achieve was one of resolution and courageousness. Despite all the terrible things that have happened in this woman’s life, she has been able to overcome them and lead a fairly normal life. It is when these horrible things happen and we allow them to destroy us, rather than to persevere and fight, that they are continually perpetuated.
 

Psychology of Women
Student # 10
Dec. 17, 2009 Final

Dr. Cameron

It is very apparent in this book, “Dance beyond the Shadows” by Rosemary Richards that the young girl Amy went through many hardships in her life. I know that we learned about all these issues in class, but to actually hear someone’s real life story really shows you how pressing these issues are in our society. Her story is truly an inspiring store for strength of all women.

It is shocking to me that any parent can do what happened to Amy to their children. Although it is out there a lot, it stills baffles me every time I hear a story like this one. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to live with a secret like she did, her father molesting her. Also I have a huge respect for her not only living with this secret but also her mother being sick and in and out of hospitals. Before she got in her second marriage, it seemed that she was getting a sense of herself. On page 87 Amy describes a couple of instances where she stood up to the doctors in the hospital she worked in. “Amy coldly told a doctor to never snap her bra again” (Pg. 87) “At a doctor’s party, she warned the ass pinching doctor not to touch her. (Pg.87) “Another doctor came up behind her at the elevator and grabbed her side and she turned, held him up by the shirt collar and told him “you are walking on thin ice”!” (Pg. 87)

As we learned in class women who have experienced abuse in a relationship tend to usually stay in those types of relationships. We see Amy’s case. She went from having an abusive relationship with her father to one with her first husband. Although there were relationships in-between, she ultimately had gone back to the abusive one. The relationship was the typical abusive relationship we learned about in class. Her husband would always beat her and then apologize and try to buy her back. Like many women she did not leave him.

Amy was a very strong woman for realizing she had to get away from her husband for once and for all. When reading the book I really like how she was open with her kids. “She wanted them to be aware, to speak out, and to tell if anyone bothered their child privacy. She also stayed very strong because when her husband tried every way to get back into their lives she did not give in; she was taking a strong stand and kept saying no.

Another issue that is brought up in this book was the status of women. Amy talked about how when she was in nursing school if you got married you were no longer allowed to be in the school. This shows what we learned in class about the men being seen as the money makers and the women should stay home and not have careers. Another comparison of men’s status to women’s status was when her sister Lila got pregnant. When she got pregnant she wasn’t married. “Single mothers were thought of as outcasts, as unruly, tainted women. The men who impregnated them were studs or party goers or they simply denied their involvement.” (Pg. 95)

In the book I was very happy to hear that Amy ha finally met a good man, Jack. My view she had been through s lot in her life and deserved something great in her life and her kids.

Throughout the book you can see how the children were always put first. The impression I got is that everything was done for the kids and herself. Dr. Cameron stated that whenever Rosemary feels she is overwhelmed, because of something going on, she always has to make sure everyone else is ok before she can go in to see Dr. Cameron.

Seeing Rosemary in person and listening to her being able to talk about her story was a true inspiration. She is inspiring all women that this is happening to, to talk about it. It is very courageous of her to be able to not only speak out about this but to write a book about it. Hearing about the help she has been given by Dr. Cameron and hearing her story has inspired me even more to be a psychologist and to be able to help people like Rosemary.
 

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